Creatively & Personally Speaking, No Cryin' in Football

CREATIVELY SPEAKING
This past week I was trying to figure out how to speak honestly and openly to my producer about the song we had just recorded. How do I express my creative differences? I waited a day, blogged about it and then he called me. It was a very uncomfortable conversation to have. He told me he didn't like the mix either and that he needed to put it down and come back to it. He talked. I talked. The bottom line came down to money again. We both don't have it right now. He's got bills. It's been a rough go and what do you do? Do you get a job to pay the bills? If you get the job to pay the bills - when do you get the time to get back into the studio to do what you do best?

I just believe we are onto to something. I do believe if we keep pushing it on both ends, we will make the money. We will get out there and be successful. I have a 401k that I'm going to cash in because it'll give us a little bit of time in the studio. I have to believe in myself. I don't want to waste one more damn opportunity. My goal is to perform at Pride this June. I have choreographers. I have the music. I even have someone making me t-shirts. It's my freakin' turn and I want to take it. You feel me? If I have to go out to Santa Monica and Highland . . .

PERSONALLY SPEAKING: HAITI
Okay, so I've been really pissy about the relief efforts in Haiti. I was kinda' ranting at my BFF about why I was mad. I was mad because the government has money to relieve others but we have people here who need relief too and where was the money going? Why do we have money for them but not for us? How do we know it's actually going to help them? They don't have a government right now. It's in pieces and parts.

Then she said something like - it's people like you, blah, blah, impatient, blah, blah, don't believe, blah, blah and I almost hung up on her. The nerve. People like me. Hmmph. I tell her that's not it. We keep talking and it dawns on me. I just feel helpless. I feel angry. I feel like I should be further ahead in my life and I'm not. I should be having a pow-wow with Oprah, Wyclef Jean and George Clooney trying to figure out ways to help Haiti. Instead I'm left to text 90999 on my phone and donate $10. It's times like these where I feel angry at my disease, at myself because I wasted so much time trying to get out of my head and my skin that I missed those opportunities to shine. Yes, I know that the Universe has a plan for me but it doesn't take away from that coulda', woulda', shoulda' but I didn't thinking.

SPORTS:
Cardinals suck because their owner sucks. Sorry, but it is what it is. Same goes for the Cowboys. I am glad the Minnesota Vikings kicked the crap out of America's favorite team - the Dallas Cowboys 34 to 3. Quarterback Brett Favre is 40-years-old. Right now, he is my hero. He plays for the love of the game. He reminds me that age ain't nothing but a number. Your heart and what you believe in is what really matters.

Anywho, Dallas Cowboy linebacker Keith Brooking was crying like a big, fat baby because Favre threw a touchdown late in the fourth quarter when they were already up by 24 points. He called it classless and disrespectful. What the hell is up with that? This is professional football, not pee wee ball. You take no prisoners and you play hard til the end. Don't cry because your team didn't show up. Maybe if Owner Jerry Jones would stop coaching from the sidelines - you might make a championship game.