12 days . . .

Sometimes I really don't like being bodily and mentally different from my fellows. I get this craziness going on in my head and I just get mad. I start ranting and raving in my head about what's wrong with the world, people, my life, etc. I don't even think I'm mad or MAD until people start looking at me like I'm crazy. Then I'm frustrated because I don't want to be like that. Happy, joyous and free. That's what I like, not the crazy, mad black woman.

I was working on my songs and it just didn't come easy to me. I was cleaning my apartment and working on the arrangement when I sang something brilliant but I wasn't recording it. I ran for my recorder but to no avail. I never got the melody back. It really pisses me off when I do that.

It started with a terrible workout. I was tired. I came home and I just didn't get into the groove. Then I went to the school to work with the kids and the energy on the campus was just ewwwhhh. Seems like no one is happy. It makes me sad. They all say they miss my presence and that was really not what I wanted to happen. I left a blueprint on how to do stuff and it feels like a certain few people just ripped up and threw it away. It's really disappointing.

Maybe it was just me and my whole attitude. Today just wasn't a good, productive day with the exception of working with those kids. I love them. My son and I got into it. I just wanted him to write a damn hook sentence for his research paper. He was tired too. I think that daylight savings time finally caught up with us. I should have let it go but I was in crazy mode so I didn't. Guess how that went?

So I'm just gonna chalk it up as one of those days that a girl goes through. Tomorrow is another day.