Tiara's and baseball . . . 14 days left

I spent three hours working on my songs and studying other auditions tonight. For me, not enough time but it was Sunday, homework and my kids baseball game. I have to say that I was a complete ass today at his game. I was just pissed off because I wanted to be practicing my music but I made a commitment to be there for my kid. I said family comes first. I don't really know what that means right now. If I take care of myself and do the work I'm supposed to in order to get where I want to be, does that make me selfish? Does that make me a bad mom?

I was pissed I had to be there today and the damn coach wasn't even there. There were coaches there that have probably never played ball in there life trying to coach the team. It just set me off. I'm really competitive. If a play isn't good, you don't tell the kids it was. That doesn't make them try harder. It doesn't make the team better.

My kid seems to have very little confidence in the coaching so he is trying to make his own judgement calls. I think that's a little dangerous because once he thinks he knows it all, he stops learning and growing. I just wanted to sock somebody in the face. He slide into second, got a little dirt burn on his elbow and they wanted to take him out. THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! I'm not saying you shouldn't look and make sure the kid is OK but for the love of God, it's a sport. They are going to get bumps and bruises. Let them play. Don't coddle them and have them sit out because someone banged their knee or the ball hit them too hard in the glove. Seriously. Next thing you know they'll impose speed limits on how fast the kids run so they don't trip on the base and hurt themselves. What's up with that? Maybe I should bring them Tiara's instead of helmets next week. Arghhhh.

I don't know what to make a priority right now and I'm frustrated. I've got this damn website that is unfinished and a thorn in my side. It will bring in business when it is done. We are down to almost our last dollar and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm so close. I just want to focus on nailing this audition. I know I have to work on our business though or else we will be living out of our car or something.

Well Universe. It's me and you again. My heart says work the hell out of my songs for the next two weeks but if I do, I may not be able to pay my bills next month. Got any ideas?I guess this is where faith comes in. I keep saying we always manage. Let's see if this is true.